← All confessions · Office 2026-09-23

You're On Mute (You're Not)

Mid-Zoom with her boss, the drawer behind her started buzzing and wouldn't stop.

How it started

Working from home, mid-way through a one-to-one video call with my boss, discussing quarterly figures. Suddenly the drawer behind me started buzzing. Loudly. I'd knocked it while reaching for a pen and something had switched itself on inside. I couldn't reach it without getting up and turning my back to the camera, and I couldn't mute because I was mid-sentence. It buzzed. And buzzed. My boss paused, frowned and asked what that noise was. I could feel my face going hot. My boss leaned closer to the screen. My colleague on the call, who'd joined for the second half, unmuted to ask whether I was renovating. I said yes, absolutely, very big renovation.

Then it happened

I said, with a perfectly straight face, 'Construction next door.' There was a long pause. Then my boss said, 'Funny, it sounds just like mine.' We have never spoken of it again. My performance review was excellent. Two weeks later a gift arrived at my house from my boss: a small, elegant storage box with a little lock. The card said, 'For your renovation.' I've never respected anyone more in my life.

The morning after

Her boss started a team tradition of 'renovation updates' at the end of each meeting. Nobody new understands it. She keeps the little lockable box on her desk, in full view of the camera. Her performance review said 'great composure'.